Amen

The word Amen in Hebrew means "to be true." It has come to mean, "I agree." The spiritual condition that believers must be in with the Divine Voice within them is described by the word Amen. One must accept that the Voice is speaking for G-d and react to the Voice with the kind of certainty that allows one to say, Amen.

In 1991, my family took a vacation to Hot Springs, Arkansas. We stayed in a nice condominium on the lake there. On August 26, 1991, the thirteenth Covenant Day, the Voice told me to celebrate the day by climbing Lookout Mountain in pilgrimage to the Lord. I went into the quaint downtown of Hot Springs and found a formal path a the bottom of the mountain. I knew I could have driven up to the top, but I was on pilgrimage and wanted to walk. I knew that there were less onerous paths to the top, but I chose to walk up the side of the mountain on the footpath that was most strenuous. I huffed and I puffed to the top.

When I got to the top, there was a large parking lot in front of the visitor center and the look out. I sat down on a wall that surrounded the parking lot and waited for the Voice to speak to me. After 45 minutes of waiting, I said to the Voice, "What do you have to say to me on this Covenant Day?" The Voice said, "I told you to go to the top of the mountain and the top of the mountain is on the other side of the parking lot." So I went to the other side and sat down and waited for the Voice. Finally, after 45 minutes more, I said to the Voice, "I am here. What do you want to say to me?" The Voice said, "You must quit your job."

I liked working as the Social Services Attorney for the State Department of Social and Rehabilitation Services. I had worked part-time for them for five years. I did not want to quit. In addition, I was concerned about what my wife would say. I came back to the condo very troubled. I sat on the porch overlooking the lake and rocked. It began to rain, harder and harder, still I sat there. My son, Thomas, came out and asked what the Voice had said. I said, "Don't tell your mother, but the Voice said to quit my job." He said, "What are you going to do?" I said, "I don't know."

I did not quit my job. My wife blew up at me in October and demanded that I leave. I told her I could not at that time, but that I would on December 1, 1991. On November 19, 1991, I was fired from the job I loved so much. I often wonder how things would have turned out had I obeyed the Voice and quit my job. Would I have lost my wife? Who knows.

I learned that I had not yet perfected my Amen. I did not say yes. I just waited because what the Voice wanted conflicted with what I wanted. It is like that in life. Sometimes what we want and what the Lord wants for us conflict. We have a choice to say Amen or not. I failed that time and have tried, now that I have not had a wife for 19 years, to always say Amen. Let G-d deal with the consequences.